The Science of Compassion
Kelly McGonical is an academic expert in compassion. In her 2016 book "The Science of Compassion" She describes how compassion has been studied in the West, in terms of expectation, biology, conflict and action.
Buddhists have been studying compassion for thousands of years. In Oxford there is a school of Buddhist psychology, where compassion is studied academically. It follows that perhaps everyday assumptions of what 'compassion' truly is, may be simplistic, misled, or confused.
McGonigal describes a study in which people are asked what the experience of compassion is. They tended to use 'nice' words, such as 'calm'. However when experienced Buddhist meditators entered a state of compassion, and heard distress sounds such as a baby crying or a woman screaming, their biological responses included enhanced activity in the amygdala, which are associated with states of distress.
She further describes a state of conflict - due to the desire for the person to be free of distress and pain.
The distress response to wittnessing evidence of pain in others, can be a motivational factor in the human need to act to alleviate pain - whether in the self or others. Thus the experience of compassion is an important survival factor in human communities.
Relevance to Therapists
The drive to act is what makes compassion so powerful and useful a factor. For therapists, who have high levels of empathy, yet know that it is easy to over-act and thus pressurise a client, it is critical to acknowledge and mediate this drive.
When positive actions are needed:
In terms of protecting vulnerable people, if I discover through my work that abuse is being committed on somebody, or that somebody is at risk, I will of course act, through practical means, to ensure that the necessary protective measures are taken to prevent further abuse or to minimise risk, for instance a report made to the local authority child protection agency.
In work with families, a therapist at times needs to let a parent know that their means of disciplining or relating to their child, is unhelpful, or worse, positively harmful, to the child. An effective therapist never ignores relational distress, it is perhaps the most important foundation of our work (my opinion).
For a dramatherapist, (in fact, any non-directive form of therapy I should think) the state of distress and conflict that we come across in our everyday work, is something that needs to be acknowledged very honestly and openly, as whilst these experiences motivate us to be effective and ever determined to work to the best of our ability, they could lead to secondary trauma and burnout.
The most serious danger is that some therapists tend to believe that their own distress actually belongs to the client. This is because of the notion that through counter-transference, they are in some way having an experience on behalf of the client. Whilst there may be a large grain of truth in this, it is only part of the story. The experience that the therapist has belongs to the therapist and the therapist needs to accept and own it, or they are in danger of becoming un-self aware. A risky situation not just for the therapist, but for their clients.
It is important to be able to:
- accept that people experience distress
- accept that therapists experience distress, it is our distress which makes us human
- be aware that the distress we experience, whilst it may be triggered by a clients story or situation, is nontheless, our own distress. (It does NOT belong to the client)
- resist the urge to try to alleviate the distress in others, in order to alleviate our own distress.
- be resilient enough to give space to a client to discover their own solutions in their own time, and hold and contain our own distress and conflict (this is what we take to supervision, an an opportunity for us to grow and learn and process our own life traumas)
The importance of self awareness and resilience.
Over the years of working as a dramatherapist, I have reflected on my own drive to help people. I was always aware that my own compulsion to help people was rooted in my relationship with my parents. My parents had lots of difficulties in their own lives and were not well-developed emotionally. I strove to help my parents, becoming carer to them, in order that they could experience healing and thereafter care for me. Needless to say, my efforts where not overly succesful.
what I did not understand at that point, was the fact that I seem to have very high levels of empathy and compassion. Whether this is due to biological or social factors, I have no idea, however in later life I find that my urge to care for people isn't just restricted to caring for those who could then care for me (although this is still a motivational factor). I have also developed the awareness that when I experience distress in others, it triggers a stress response in myself. That is empathy. Maybe this is caused simply by mirror neurons, though I suspect there is more to it. Whatever the basis, it is a strong experience. Combined with the motivation to act, empathy develops and becomes compassion. But compassion, whilst it is a great human phenomena, has it's pitfalls.
I continually strive to achieve a balance. Whilst compassion is a useful therapeutic tool, there is a danger that I may try too hard to 'cure' clients in order to alleviate my own distress.
Knowing when to act and when not to act (and it is usually the latter!), is one of the most important lessons that a therapist learns, and a skill which is being constantly honed.
One of my greatest learning experiences has been, through using techniques of mindfulness and reflectiveness, and through attending regular supervision, to be able to acknowledge and hold my own distress, whilst allowing the client the freedom to explore and process their personal experiences in the therapy space. It is important that I do not try to influence them in their journey, in any other way but to create a safe, containing, nurturing environment.
The exception to this rule is that on occasion, after a time of reflection, and in a way that is hopefully palatable to the client, I will take a 'therapeutic risk', by making an offering; a suggestion, or a possibility. This is done in a way that the client can 'take or leave'. I acknowledge to both the client and myself that my suggestion is prone to human error, and possibly mistaken, but that they might benefit from it if they feel it useful.
(I should also note that it isn't all misery and despair! Distress is just one of the responses that a therapist experiences in her work, she also experiences great joy and satisfaction, as clients become open, more self-accepting, courageous, whole and interrelational. Nontheless, these feelings of joy and satisfaction also need to be contained and held by the therapist, as they may be experienced as a source of pressure to the client.)
Associated Factors
Expressed Emotion (parents - but could relate to therapist?)
Transference (extreme caution needed around transference based interpretations)
The Wounded Helper (when does a desire to help become a compulsion?)
Child and Vulnerable adult protection (Assertive action required, compassion is not passive)
Mirror Neurons
Theory of Mind
Mindfulness
The Reflective therapist
Supervision in the Helping Professions.
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